When you get dumped on social media

Or, less sensationalist and more accurate – when you find out a guy you’ve been dating for years has a girlfriend.

So last week a photo of the Italian pops up, and he’s with a girl I’ve never heard of and it looks like they’re at departures – heading off on hols. A stream of perfect couple holiday snaps followed. So, wow – thanks for telling me you had a girlfriend mate! I only saw him a few weeks ago, so there’s no excuse.

So, that had probably run it’s course, but it is over now – but honestly – what a way to find out. Modern life really is rubbish! But I suppose it is better than blissful ignorance. They’re still on their holiday I think, and it’s Valentine’s Day – so I can’t wait to see the wedding or engagement pics and offer my congratulations.

Other than that, Valentine’s Day has been okay. I treated myself to lunch st the Harvester with kids whippy ice cream cone, and am now watching the snooker, wrapped up in a blanket and clutching a hot water bottle trying not to think about the Silver Fox! 

Looks like it’s finally over with him too. I tested him slightly last month, suggesting a way he could make more of a commitment – and guess what – he’s pulled away. I’ve twice invited him to come and stay  (it is a year since he did so), and he declined. So the only times we’ve met up in last 12 months have all been when I’ve gone to see him. As I now don’t have a pot to piss in, those trips will stop. 

So, there you go. Another single Valentine’s Day – but I still believe it’s better than being in a relationship with someone who makes you unhappy.

Topsy Turvy

It’s been a pretty standard start to the year for me – fitness goals rather that dating goals!

I’m holding back on signing up for another half marathon at present, because seem to pick up a lot of boggles and injuries these days (old age!), so don’t want to commit to the training just yet.

I’m in two sports teams, so doing varied training and match play each week – and am going to top that up with running and swimming. I’ve also started getting up early and doing a dance class / exercise game before work. So that’s all positive, and I’m looking forward to pancake day and so Lent starting next month – time to give up all the refined sugar.

I’ve been up to London and seen the two beaus already this year – but – yet again got bad vibes and think it might be over. silver fox seemed pretty dismissive and unbothered about whether I was there or not, and I’ve invited him twice in the last few weeks to visit me – which he has declined, which I think speaks volumes.

After a few shaky moments last year, the Italian had been back in the good books. He sent sweet texts over Christmas and Nee Year, but when I saw him last week – it felt awkward. I don’t know why, I think maybe it’s just going to fizzle out as we see each other so infrequently. 

I am really skint at the moment, o unlikely to be able to visit again fur a few months, I’ll see if either of them contact me in the meantime.

It’s pretty inconvenient having live interests so far away, so I suppose I should look to find someone to hang out with locally.

With that in mind, I did go on Tinder fur the first time in ages yesterday. Got a new match and we’re exchanging messages – will see if that goes anywhere!

It’s been months since anyone sent me a message on Tinder, and that is how I met the Italian all those years ago, so I’ll stick with it for a bit and see what happens. 

In the very unlikely circumstance that I get a date, I’ll do a write up here. 

My Single Christmas!

christmas-16I can’t tell you how happy I am to be single this Christmas!

I had to do a spreadsheet for December because I was so busy – only had one night free from 01st – 23rd December, and it’s been an absolute blast!

I’ve had work, karaoke, concerts, church, netball and rugby socials, and plenty of carol singing!

I suppose that this time of year is quite difficult for a lot of people who don’t want to be on their own, but for me it has been brilliant as I’ve not had to worry about fitting in with anyone else’s schedule, and have been able to selfishly do exactly what I want, when I want it  everyday so far in the run up to Christmas.

We’re having a big family Christmas this year and I can smugly report that all my shopping and baking is (nearly) done, and all the presents are wrapped and ready to take round to mums and give out.

A few things I learnt this month:

  1. carol signing is fun – but we did door to door last night and my fingers have only just thawed enough to allow me to type this post!
  2. driving for 9 hours to a meeting and back the day of the office party is not ideal, and leaves you a little tired for the main event!
  3. it’s not possible to do everything, just do what you can
  4. doing things for charity and for others gives a very strong feeling of Christmas Spirit
  5. having good friends to share the season with is important to me
  6. get a big enough bowl to mix 2 Christmas puddings in
  7. everyone loves vintage baubles and cake decorations (or they’re very polite!)

So it has been a really fun month, but I am pretty exhausted now as a goodly dose of illness has been thrown in there for good measure of course. I am looking forward to finishing work for a few days and seeing the family. Can’t say I’ll catch up on any sleep as I think that is highly unlikely! I will try to get out for a run at some point through as with a  break in netball and rugby for the holidays, my fitness could plummet.

And for those of you who follow the blog regularly – a little update on the two romeos.

I saw them both at the beginning of the month. The Italian came round for a bit on the Saturday night and we met in a pub. It was great to see him, and – hilariously after 3 years + of dating, he accepted a friend request on Facebook that I sent him over a year ago!

What does that mean – who knows, but maybe we are friends now 🙂

I saw the Silverfox the following morning, he came and joined me for breakfast in the hotel and we chatted for an hour or so before he had to go to work. We have exchanged a few festive texts this week, and I’ll see if I hear from him over the holidays now.

There is a plan to meet up with them both in mid-Jan, which is going to be upon us very quickly indeed!

So, I wish you all a very Merry Christmas and share my joy at being single for another year!

It’s time for (more) change

So the observant amongst you will have noticed that I have been single for more than just one summer now, and that I have not dated much since moving cities last year.

I’ve not been feeling the need to find a man – for three main reasons; firstly that I don’t want to make the time to share my life with someone. I am really busy with my own things and don’t want to give any of that up yet. Secondly, my confidence is very low and I don’t want to put myself out there. And thirdly – I am still seeing the Silver Fox and Italian on occasion.

But, that’s not to say that things are negative, they’re really not – most of the time I am really happy with the way things have worked out!

I met up with a cousin who I have not seen fur years last week, and it was great to see her – but also really interesting.

We are a similar age, but our lives are so different. She has three children and her job is the look after them. She is married and lives in a big city. I have no children, no partner, work full time and live in a small town. But we are very similar in outlook and attitude. I was really touched when she emailed me this week to say she lauded my bravery in making the big changes in my life over the years since we last met. We’re going to keep in touch more regularly I hope, and as she rightly said – there is so much more to talk about.

She is more right than she realises as I have decided to do something else brave. It doesn’t really involve dating, but I’ll write about it occasionally in this blog I expect.

When you decide to end it, but then they pull it out of the bag

You know when you test someone. It’s all in your head, they have no idea, but you’re like ‘if they do that today, that’s it’?

Well I had one of those with the Silver Fox recently. We’d arranged to meet up, and I was thinking that he was going to be looking for a ‘pash and dash’ because he’s seemed pretty stand-offish. We were for example only meeting in the morning for a coffee, no lunch, no drink, no meeting up after work – and I was feeling pretty disheartened. However, when he showed up he was really attentive, complimentary and we talked for ages. And when he left he commented on how nice it was to catch up properly and have a good chat (this being not a euphemism!). I was so surprised, and pleased by this.

It really was nice to see him, especially given that somehow he unwittingly  managed to pass the virtual test with flying colours!

So we’re arranging to meet up again in a few weeks, and I wonder what we’ll do next time?It would be really nice to maybe try and eat out together or share a bottle of wine, like ‘normal people’. I’ll see how that goes!

For those that are wondering, I did not see the Non-Italian this time as he was – extraordinarily and most inconveniently on holiday in Portugal last time I was visiting! I have not heard from him since he returned from holidays, so i think maybe after 3 years that one is fizzling out – which I find I am not in anyway upset or bothered about.

Sadly nothing more exciting to share. The search for a Silver Fox equivalent (single please!) in the ‘not so new’ home continues. At some point I will need to apply myself to that, unless I decide that I am very happy being by myself and not bothering!pd

Oh, and for your amusement, I have included a screen shot of a message I got on one of the dating sites. I had to read it a few times to even understand what it meant, but when I finally understood I was a bit shocked.

fullsizerender

Um, yeah – thanks for that Jay. BLOCKED.

 

 

 

 

Summertime Blues

Is it just me that finds summer a struggle?

The last few days I have been very low, which happens most years. I think this time the dip in mood has been caused by a mixture of returning from holiday, a choice comment from the Silverfox, terrible weather and a stinking cold. I hope that’s all it is and that the malaise passes.

To raise a smile today I bought myself a treat, well two treats. Some sweets (chocolate nibble if you’re interested) and a new book. The new tome is the very highbrow – oh yes. There is a new range of spoof Ladybird books, all of which look excellent, and one of which is the Ladybird Book of Dating.

It’s so very good and very funny, it actually made me laugh out loud at a few.

It has worked to an extent as it has cheered me up and made me smile!

In case you’re wondering what the Silverfox did to offend, read on!

I saw both SF and Non-Italian last week. It’s been months since I saw NI, so I forgave him for being a dick last time (he apologised), and we had a pleasant time. It turns out that we both put money on Portugal winning Euro 2016 – so happy days. I saw him briefly one morning, having spent the previous afternoon with SF.

So, what did SF do? Well we actually had a great time, and it was really good to see him, but he did tell me it was obvious I was not training much – waaaahhhhh! You’d think a man of his advancing years with a few relationships under his belt would know better – I mean seriously – WTAF. He did also comment that he’d put on a few pounds and was looking forward to getting back in the gym and playing football again. Surely every man know that it is NOT OKAY to comment on a woman’s weight – ever. Even if you think she’s lost weight, don’t comment! I never comment on a mans weight, it doesn’t bother me – and is nothing to do with me. Grrrrr.

So, as you can see he touched a bloody nerve, and it did upset me. Last thing I need is to start getting anxious about my weight – I need to boost my confidence if am going to start dating again, not have the small amount I had ripped out of me with a throw away (seemingly) flippant comment like that.

So there we are, still no knew Tinder or OkCupid matches to report, and no sing of any dates on the horizon, but I’ll not give up hope just yet. And in the meantime I can while away the dark lonely hours reading my new book!

 

Three years of singledom

Yes, three years! It’s taken me by surprise too. I only realised because I saw an email, filed away from all those years ago when I told friends that I’d split from the ‘long term’ boyfriend.
It seems so long ago, yet only yesterday. I’m not overly keen to end the single status anyway. I have seen both the silver fox and non-Italian in last 24 hours, and have been seeing them both for nearly three full years now – which is amazing really, maybe I do have some kind of lingering appeal.
The only thing I am worried about us that I now have got very used to living by myself. My house us today, my mild OCD develops unfettered and I don’t have to clean up after anyone else.
Really, life us very good. I play rugby and netball – training three times a week, I swim in the lido at the end of the road, I sing in a choir, and work a 4 day week. The only thing really worrying me is that I have done no training for a half marathon that’s rapidly approaching- so soon I need to start putting some serious running miles in. So I get to go exactly what I want, no cooking for anyone else or arranging my life around theirs. These benefits are huge, but sometimes I do wonder if I can give them up? Have I become too used to it being just me, could I share my space again. Obviously I hope the answer is yes, if I were to meet the right person I could make the concessions – I guess that we shall see – if the situation arises.
Anyway, so that’s what I’m thinking about after three good and fun years that have seen lots of positive change for me.
So, that’s me three years on. 😌